it's a party

doing something for you, bringing something to you-
that's not what you're after.
being religious, acting pious-
that's not what you're asking for.
You've opened my ears
so i can listen.

so i answered, "I'm coming
I read in your letter what you wrote about me,
And I'm coming to the party
you're throwing for me."
that's when God's Word entered my life,
became part of my very being

Psalm 40:6-8

it's my party. God's throwing it for me. i can't stop thinking about it. God is throwing me a party. a lost daughter come home- that was the day my party began and it will continue for eternity. it's a party and you all get one too!!!

super funday

this is what i love about God and His creation and His presence in us. He helps us find joy in the simplest and coolest and best if we take time to do it. last night jeremy and i went for a drive to Mound Hill- the cemetary that overlooks our little city. we looked at all the old tombstones and walked to the edge of the hill and peered down at our little town by the river. i found my stone cottage with its green roof and worn-down stoop. i had such a good time, just looking down on what God has made. maybe that's how God feels sometimes- just so happy with the beauty of His handiwork. i thought of the psalms we read in class recently, "your beauty and splendor have everyone talking, i compose songs on your wonders. your marvelous doings are headline news; i could write a book full of the details of your greatness." the hill was rejoicing in its Maker and so was i !!!

casual thursday

today i am wearing a pair of old, worn-in khakis and a black long-sleeved t-shirt. very casual. very comfortable. here are some other casual,comfortable things that i thought of this morning when i skipped over the dress pants and fashion jewelry and blazer:
* my favorite sheets washed 100 times so they feel like butter
* finger painting in the park
* watching a movie in my p.j.'s
* eating spaghetti
* a leisurely shopping trip
* talking to my dad
* taking a nap on a rainy day
* making cookies
* laughing at my husband's silly jokes
* putting away groceries
* getting up early to cuddle on the couch with a blanket and fall back asleep watching the news
nothing complex. and sometimes it is a relief just to be simple and easy. happy casual thursday to all!

and she clapped her hands

i clapped my hands today in class and did a little unbaptist-like dance and had my students pretty much convinced that i was charasmatic..... oh,my precious, precious Savior whose Spirit can reign in the hearts of 17 year old boys. this was the minute motivator my dear sweet nathan student gave today in class-

psalm 113

if you haven't read it- do. it is praise topped with praise. but i was doing my usual nodding and half listening ( i get bad about that sometimes when my mind is full of things i have to do), and then i hear this....
"He gives the childless couples a family,
gives them joy as the parents of children.
Hallelujah!"

i believe with my entire being Christ speaks to me through His Word. and it is no small coincidence - no small miracle that these are the verses that God allowed one struggling young sweet boy to read in class today. God promised to bind the broken- perhaps the binding has begun.

far greater "joy"

today i received pictures of my friend's baby. her name is joy and she is marvelously beautiful. i have been very stand-offish with God over this whole childlessness situation,but i think today i may just open my lips and say it. it isn't because i'm feeling bold but because i am feeling broken. and when approaching God's throne, one thing is just as important as the other. i read this today,

"Get up, God! Are you going to sleep all day?
Wake up! Don't you care what happens to us?
Why do you bury your face in the pillow?
Why pretend things are just fine with us?
And here we are- flat on our faces in the dirt,
held down with a boot on our necks.
Get up and come to our rescue.
If you love us so much, HELP US!"
psalm 44:23-26

and that is where i am. i have been waiting for boldness, praying for boldness, hungering for boldness, yearning for boldness and nothing makes me bold. but each day breaks my heart more and when i saw that baby face this afternoon, that "joy" baby, i knew that i could no longer wait to be bold. i don't know what i'll say. it won't be "you promised, remember? do it." but maybe i'll just say the psalm over and over "if you love me so much, help me!" oh, how much i long to long for His will. oh, how much i want to obey. but oh, how much my heart wants a far greater "joy" of my own.