don't fence me in
place a cheetah in a 10x12 cage and tell it to be a cheetah. it can't. it can't continue to exhibit cheetah characteristics in a cage. eventually, a caged cheetah will die. and so it is with highly intelligent children. stupefy them by placing them in a classroom with less intelligent children and intolerent teachers in order to "socialize" them, and they too will die. perhaps not physically, but intellectually and emotionally they will whither. they will attempt to be like everyone else in order to be "accepted" (by the way, acceptence is the whole point of "socialization".) but a gifted child will realize quite quickly that she cannot communicate well with her peers because of her advanced vocabulary. therefore, she will not be accepted by those of her age group in an traditional educational scenario. most teachers are not qualified to handle an exceptional child. these teachers will not know what to do with a 5 year old with spatial and critical thinking skills. and therefore, will not be very accepting of the child. teaching an exceptional child is just as difficult as teaching a with learning deficiencies though very few educators recognize this truth. so we have another educational quandary. heritage will only expect emmy into their pre-school program. (they play, count to ten and say the abc's for an entire year.) emmy might commit suicide. i highly doubt it would improve her social skills. we were worried about her blowing away the other children in k-5, but pre-k. ??? all the experts say to avoid socialization. kids are smart and will figure out the p's and q's of society quickly. but what to do with her next year?
we are certainly not going to fence her in by holding her back and crushing her desire to learn. God made her this way, we don't have the right to change that, and either does anyone else.
posted by crt @ 12:45 PM
4 Comments:
i am commenting on my own blog. but cheryl, dear, calm your motherly self down and think about this. it isn't permanent. if things don't work out well, you can take her out. but i will say this, as a teacher of elementary students, they DON'T pick up socialization along the way. those books are very much wrong. and i disagree that socializing is accepting. think of some of our great musical genius- mozart and beethoven. both were intelligent but had no clue how to socialize and though they contributed much to our world, they died lonely, severly sad men. your cheetah won't die, i promise. she could help all the other chetahs and then the whole zoo could break out. what a lovely thing for her to have as her name sake, "the girl who opened up all the doors and let the minds run free" think about it.
there's a lot more to it. hard to explain in a blog. but these aren't just books that we are looking at. these are experts in dealing with highly intelligent children. teachers, doctors (MD's), not just high strung parents. people who have devoted their lives to getting inside the heads of gifted children. none of the studies contrdict one another. they all say that these kids will regress if placed in a situation were they are expected to regress. (i.e. placing them in an educational environment which does not challange them just so they are with kids their age.) they suggest rather, getting them to interact with their peers in other social situations such as sports etc. we aren't saying that emmy is einstein. we are saying that she exhibits qualities of a gifted child, and we are not going to be guilty of holding her back. we know our child better than anyone. we know her strengths and we know her weaknesses. we own ultimate responsibilty during these first years of her life. isn't interesting that society dictates that while we are school age that our social contacts should be within a 12 month range of ourselves. this isn't true after we graduate and move on. we have friends in every age group. i'm not expected to move in a social herd of thirty year olds. why do we limit our children to this theory. it's an adult world. why is it so wrong that she is capable of communicating with people who are older. why cage her in? why limit her potential? why force her to be someone she's not? why force her into a mold to be like other four year olds. i'll tell you why. it's easier. it's easier if she acts like, talks like, thinks like all the rest. it's easier for the school, the teacher, etc if she becomes a route memory robot quietly obeying the rules, doing the work, and keeping her mouth shut and her mind off. it's just easier.
well, sorry that i went on like that, i guess it would have been easier to call.
oh, my dear, dear wonderful mother friend. of course, you know what is best for that little bright baby girl of yours. all i'm saying is, it isn't as boxy as the experts and the non-experts would like it to be. statitistics are lovely until someone realizes that it is little people not percentages. we will just pray that God will clearly show the way for you and your children. i know He will. let's ask Him.
you hit it. we are talking about little people. each made distinctly. to say what's right for emmy based on what's right for the majority, isn't right. she doesn't fall into the majority. and we don't want her to slip through the cracks while others try to conform her to fit in with the rest.
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