WRITING BLOCK

i am supposed to give an interp speech tomorrow night at the special thanksgiving service. i can't find a monologue that is appopriate and my brain is totally stumped. as pooh would say "oh, bother"

LITTLE FAITH- BIG GOD

jeremy and i joined the church officially sunday night. it has been awhile since i have been a member of a church. i am excited about the opportunities afforded when we allow God to work. here is a funny- the church is conservative and doesn't really do drama or such but i have really been praying for the opportunity to start some kind of team to minister once a month during a service. so i have been having this conversation with God that it would be wonderful to be involved with speech in some format- and within twenty four hours i was given a part in the christmas contata and put in charge of all the speaking parts there and then put in charge of the drama part of the children's musical. oh me of little faith. it won't win me an oscar but my prayer was answered. He is using me in the capacity where He has placed me.

NICOLAITAN ANSWERS

"who are the nicolaitans? what did they do that God hated them?
is Revelation chapter 6 before the tribulation? what did the thunderers say that God would not let him reveal? is there some way that a human being can keep God from returning, in reference to Revelation 3:3?"

sound like a theology class? but it isn't. it is my answer to prayer. these are questions from this precious senior boy who i have been passionately praying for the past two years that he might come to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.

as a teacher you are not supposed to have favorites but i do and he is mine. he is intelligent beyond belief. he is a wonderful speaker; a great debater; a connoisseur of music; and funny and sweet and handsome. but these many years he has been missing the point of all his skill and talent.

oh, my lovely, lovely Lord and His perfect beautiful timing. this young man is on the precipice of faith in God. he is searching and reading and asking and willing to listen. he is smart and curious and just eating up the Scripture. i am fervently praying for this child's salvation. it is moments like these that pouring myself into my "children" is worth every frustration and heartache. i will keep answering his questions and praying. he keeps quoting "the time is at hand". oh, how i pray for him that it is.

POURING

i am not a pessamist. i am not usually grumpy in the morning. i do not like to make people mad or sad or hurt or frustrated or disgruntled. i am flexible. but.......................... the old saying of "when it rains it pours" is true. i'm feeling bruised by the drops, soaked from the downpour, cold from the constant barage, and tired of not being able to stop it. today is one of those days where i will be driven to find shelter outside of myself because my covering is full of holes. "under his wings i will safely abide forever"- i'm claiming it, i'm asking for complete trust, and i'm just trying to be still and catch my breath.

FINALLY HOME

my grandmother went to meet Jesus on tuesday. in the past seven years i watched her turn from a vivacious, funny, positive woman to a broken, sad, discouraged shell of what she once was. she wasn't the grandma who used to sing "ci-ci my playmate" with me ; the one who wore striped socks with plaid shorts and a polka-dot shirt on vacation thinking she looked super fine; the one who played the piano for a church service of 3,000+; the one who cooked the best spaghetti; the one who found something wonderful in little things; the one who taught me to love Jesus best; the one who introduced the reuben sandwich; the one who found music her main way to praise God and sang all the time. she had just become a sad, faithful mother who waited every day for her family to be restored. every family has it's stories. some families have their prodigals. my youngest uncle is ours. and since the day he walked out of our lives those many years ago, my grandmother has been waiting to see her baby boy love her again. it sapped the life out of her- it would anyone. so today she is with her Savior. there is no more pain- not physical, not emotional. she is completely whole and seeing my grandpa and her grandchildren she could not enjoy on earth but now can revel in forever. i loved her more than i can ever express but i am glad her pain is gone and she is finally home.

TAG BACKS

#1. entry number twenty three only has three sentences- perhaps that says something about me

#2. entry number twenty- two is a song

#3. entry number twenty- one's fifth sentence:
" But it is always pure and refreshing and more wonderful than i ever imagined."

#4. i only have one person to send this to: christina grace you have been tagged ( if my sister would open a blog than i could tag her as well- hint, hint)

BASKET HUGGERS

this little bit of story is for erinlea but everyone else is welcome to read and ponder. here is my view of peter's water walk.

you have 12 men who have just seen Jesus take two hard biscuits and little salty fish and feed 5,000 men plus women plus children. there are 12 baskets of food left (no coincidence, i might add) and each disciple gets his basket of left-overs and climbs aboard the boat. each man had to be on a spiritual high. each man had to be relishing the fact that not only did God provide but He gave them more than enough. enough so that each man could look down into his basket and remember exactly what God had done just minutes ago. enough so that not only were their stomachs full but their hands were full as well. enough so that it wasn't just a wonderful memory, it was a tangible, smellible, seeable, edible miracle. so this storm comes and the boat gets a little rocky and the waves sweep over the deck and their baskets of loaves and fishes get a little soggy. suddenly what was one moment ago something to remind them of God's power became a life preserver. in the blink of an eye, what they were given as a symbol of God's provision, God's love, God's goodness became just another old dirty basket full of stinky fish and hard bread. and peter looked at these guys and he looked down into his basket and thought " i don't want to be like them. don't they remember? i want to be like Jesus." and here comes the Savior walking the waves and peter says "yes! that's what i'm talking about." most say peter was being a show-off. i just think he remembered what he had recently witnessed on the hillside. i think he was soaking in the power of God. most people say that peter had no faith- falling in the water like that. but at least he got out of the boat. he put his basket down and walked to Jesus.

you got out of the boat. you had your basket. you saw His power. you got out of the boat. don't get back in. all that is on that ship are people who have forgotten the promise and are fearfully clinging to their "baskets". you might fall in the tumultuous sea, but God is there to lift you back out. i am praying for you.

BIRTHDAY TREASURES

for the lovely old age of 31 , i received a treasure chest of treats from my students:
* a home-made card from a 3rd grader that had a picture of 3CPO and my name spelled "Mrs. Pecans"
* a serenade from the k-3
* a piece of gum from a shy 8th grade boy who dropped it on my desk with a speedy "hpybthdy,mspkns."
* a bag of halloween candy that had been wrestled in the bottom of an unorganized bookbag surrounded by missing homework and sweaty gym clothes
* a vase of yellow daisies
* a bag of "fuzzy" gummyworms
* 13 homemade signs from children ages 12-18 that read such things as:
- "birthday happy! ( i just wanted to be different)"
-"happy birthdee mrs. perky"
- "happy 21st birthday"
-"happy birthday. i love you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!"
* a teddy bear with a candle
* a c.d. one of the boys just cut himself (of him singing- very cool)
* a package of duck sauce
* an apple
birthdays @ school are such fun!!

ENOUGH

i know that He cares for me; i know He sings about me; i know that He weeps over me; i know that He laughs with me: i know that i am His PASSION. daughter of the King i am. that is enough for today.

Isaiah 51:16- "I set all the stars in space and established the earth. I am the one who says, "You are mine!""

OLD

today i have added another year to the age category on my license and any other paper work i fill out. think anyone would believe me if i write down 22? 31 is a yucky number :(

MORE THAN YOU'LL EVER KNOW

For my dearest friends who have shown me Jesus in their faithfulness and love. Thank you:

Somethin' brought you to my mind today
I thought about the funny ways you make me laugh
And yet I feel it's ok to cry with you
Somethin' about just being with you
When I leave I feel like I've been near God
And that's the way it ought to be...

Cause you've been more than a friend to me
You fight off my enemies...
Cause you've spoken truth over my life
And you'll never know what it means to me
Just to know you've been on your knees for me
Oh you have blessed my life
More than you'll ever know

You had faith when I had none
You prayed God would bring me a brand new song
When I didn't think I could find the strength to sing
And all the while I'm hoping that I'll do
The kind of prayin' for you that you've done for me
And that's the way it oughta be

You have carried me
You have taken upon a burden that wasn't your own
And may the blessing return to you
A hundred fold

Watermark

HE KNOWS

it never ceases to amaze me that God delivers what we need just at the exact moment we need it- even when we don't know how to ask- even when we are so weary that we don't ask. the wonder for me today is that those moments of spiritual dehydration are the very moments when my Father steps in and brings me His refreshing rain. sometimes it is just a drizzle. sometimes it is a downpour. but always it is sweeter and purer and more wonderful than i ever imagined. enough to satisfy for the moment but never enough to satiate the desire for more. i'm living like the children of Israel wandering in the blasting desert heat. every morning there is enough mana for the day. every morning new promises or old promises made new await my obedience to gather them and use them. "His mercies are new every morning"- this morning i gather and feast.